Let me start this one out by saying, I try my damndest not to allow my little girl, who is 8, to see me stress about my appearance. That being said, I know how observant little ones are – even when you think their heads are in the clouds.

My precious, beautiful little girl is so kind, and loving, and innocent. So very emotionally fragile…. and the pickiest eater ever. I have tried just about everything in the past, and have FINALLY gotten to a point where if I put something, a small morsel, new on her plate, she understands that I expect her to try it. To give it a real go before she decides she doesn’t like it. We’re making progress.

I ran into a problem with her a few weeks ago. It was right after making a big deal about how she’s getting the first signs of puberty – AT 8 YEARS OLD! So I had measured her little mosquito bites to make sure I was shopping for the right sports bra. Shortly after that, I started getting questions from her about how many calories are in certain foods, and her asking to see the nutrition labels on things. 😐 My. Heart. Sank.

I explained to her that at the age of 8, it wasn’t her responsibility to focus on those kinds of things. I explained to her that she needed a high number of calories, as a growing little girl, and that it was my responsibility to make sure that her needs were met – so she didn’t have to worry about it. Just put her trust in me that I was giving her the nutrition that she NEEDS to grow big and strong, just like her mama.

Now the tricky part. I eat, on average, less calories than it takes to run the body of an 8-year-old. How can I preach to her that nutrition is SO important, and food is there to fuel her body so that she can grow… when I have such a hard time allowing (there’s that word again) myself the correct nutrition for my own body. It’s possible she may think that I’ve eaten throughout the day, and my dinner is just a small part of my overall diet…. but I also know she’s more observant than that.

I will say, when I look at her, I see myself. And when I see the ways in which she looks like me, I can’t believe I could ever think so little of the way I look. She truly has done wonders for me. And, unlike my mother, when she tells me how beautiful I am, I shoot right back at her – “And how lucky are you, that you look just like me.” Big talk. I’ve always been good at coming off as confident and self-assured.

She is the real reason I want to get better. She is my rock, though she won’t know that for many years to come. She is my inspiration to be healthy – so she can look at me, and know how to be healthy. Know how to take care of herself. So as difficult as it will be… I will STOP being a hypocrite. I WILL get to a point where I can be a role model for her, instead of a talking head. Do as I say, not as I do – does NOT apply to health. Health is important. I want to be around when she graduates, when she starts her career, when she needs me to lean on when she feels like the pressure of the world is too much for her to bear… and if I don’t beat this… she’ll have to talk to the air. Ask me to ‘guide’ her when I can’t answer. I will not allow that to happen.

I will be there for her. Here. Healthy. I have no choice.